How To Get Your Ex To Miss You Like Crazy

Let’s face it — breaking up has got to be one of the worst things ever in life. And as pathetic as it may be, practically everyone who has ever broken up with their boyfriend or girlfriend has gone through that phase of “Oh my God I miss you so much, please come back to me, I will do anything, ANYTHING just so we can be together again.”

I’ve had my share of breakups. And while the recovery time varies on the length of each relationship and the depth of my feelings for my ex, one thing is constant: It bites, every single time.

The first time it happened, I was an emotional wreck. I was the one who did the dumping — but then again, he kind of gave me the incentive to do it, because he was totally acting out of character and giving me all sorts of reasons to dump him.

Still, and my point is, regardless if you were the dumper or the dumpee, you would still be yearning to have your ex come back — unless you’ve already moved on and found somebody else.

So of course, the first step, if you really, TRULY want to get your ex back, is to make him or her miss you so that they will start chasing you. And that’s what I’m going to talk about, since I’ve gone through several breakups, as well as collected stories and anecdotes from both my guy and girl friends.


The “No Contact” Rule

The most important thing is: Do NOT initiate contact with your ex whatsoever. Not even if you are drunk, or are really, really, REALLY at your wit’s end. (For utterly drastic measures, you can even allow a trusted friend to take your phone as hostage so you won’t be able to text, email, or call your ex should the urge arises.) I’ve learned the hard way that in this case, the old adage “Absence makes the heart grow fonder” is true.

Simply put, you should follow the no contact rule if you want to make your ex miss you. It’s simple human dynamics at work: The more elusive you are, the more your ex will wonder about you. If you let yourself become too available, then the chances of your ex missing you will definitely decrease.

With the “no contact” rule, it means absolutely ZERO communication — no messaging your ex via Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and other social networking sites; no emails; no text messages; no calls; and definitely no accidentally-on-purpose dropping by the places he or she frequents in the chances of bumping into him or her.

When you follow the “no contact” rule, you should act as if you have disappeared from his or her life, that you’ve practically dropped off the face of earth. Let your ex wonder what’s going on with your life, and let him or her start missing you!

Take This Quiz to Get Customized Breakup Advice for Your Unique Situation

Avoid The Temptation To Grovel — And Stalk Your Ex

Leaving reminders of you in the places where your ex will most likely go to is a definite no-no if you’re intending to make him or her miss you. In fact, the opposite is bound to happen.

Your ex will only get turned off and think that you’ve turned into a psychotic, sniveling mess who can’t live without him or her. And while that can be an ego booster to some, that move will backfire on you.

The logic is quite simple. The more available you make yourself to your ex, the less “alluring” and “appealing” you appear to him or her. This is especially true for ladies: When you and your guy first got together, he was probably doing all the chasing. So consider this as another round of playing hard-to-get, but on a bigger scale, because you should be literally waaaaay ahead of him in that rocky road of romance.


Learn To Fly Solo

Another trick to making your ex miss you — and also because this one comes with a really, really good side benefit — is to live your life as a single person again. Don’t become a hermit post-breakup; go out with friends, become a rock star at work and put your best effort in the office, pick up a new hobby — essentially, fill all your waking hours with activities so you won’t have time to think about your ex, much less miss him or her.

This kind of coping mechanism works effectively for those who are reeling from the devastating effects of a breakup, such as Nash, a musician. “I channeled my energies to my music when I broke up with my girl,” he relates. “Yes, of course I missed her and I wanted desperately to pick up the phone and call and text her, and yeah, maybe working on new songs about heartbreak and all that crap made me miss her, but at least I was able to channel my frustration and misery in a, dare I say it, productive way.”

In other words, redirect your feelings of longing in a positive light. Doing so will not only make your ex miss you (especially when he or she sees your fantastic Facebook status updates showing that you’re living an awesome life sans him or her), but it will also NOT give you the time and space to dwell on your not-so-pleasant feelings, as well as bring you to the realization that moving on with your life can be liberating.


Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone

In my experience, one thing that always works (at least for me) when dealing with a breakup — and consequently making my ex miss me — is traveling. Sometimes I travel alone; sometimes I have a buddy or two with me.

Whatever the circumstances, I always make sure to visit places that I’ve never been to with him, so that there’s no room for me to miss him. And since we all live in a small world, I know that sooner or later, the news of my sojourns will reach him.

There was even one time when my friend, who took my advice, told me that it worked for her. “For the longest time, I was so scared to travel without him, since we were together for four years and I was so used to going everywhere with him,” she shares with me.

“But he found out through friends about my travel plans, since I never told him. Pretty soon, he started sniffing around again, saying that he missed me — that he missed traveling with me, and that led to the other things that he missed about me.”

So take a chance, and dare to get out of your comfort zone. You’ll feel so free and independent, and your ex will be missing you before you know it.

Sam’s Thoughts:

This is an article written by one of my writers.

I don’t necessary agree with everything she has written here but I still decided to post this article because first, I do like to have different point of views on my site and second, I think she has shared some great tips in this article.

You should definitely learn to fly solo and get out of your comfort zone but I think you should do so more for yourself rather than to make your ex miss you.

After all, trying to make your ex miss you is a little bit manipulative in my opinion.

Let’s not forget. You have totally no control over your ex. You can do everything listed in this article and your ex may still not miss you.

So I will suggest implementing the tips in this article to better yourself. If your ex does start to miss you, treat it as a bonus but don’t get too hung out on it if they don’t.

Take This Quiz to Get Customized Breakup Advice for Your Unique Situation

83 thoughts on “How To Get Your Ex To Miss You Like Crazy

  1. Hi Sam,

    How long does it take before my ex boyfriend will start to miss me if I am using no contact? I really look forward to your reply?

    1. It really depends on your situation. I would say that for most situations, it will take around 30 days before a man will miss his ex girlfriend again. Of course, it can also be a lot sooner.

      1. Hi Sam! Me and my girlfriend of 4 years of serious relationship broke up because of her parents. They saw me as a controlling person to their daughter. Especially this semester is the hardest year for her education as an occupational therapist. So her parents banned us because they want her to concentrate on her studies. We are both 21 btw. They didn’t want me to contact her and see her. My gf told me to just hold on and follow what her parents told us to let the situation calm down. She said she loves me so much and that I am the one for her if only I could wait for the right time.. I feel sorry for my gf. Everytime I do something stupid like trying to reach out to her and then her mom knows about it (idk how she knew it)… I tried doing the no contact rule for 2 days and gladly she came back to check on how I was. Then just yesterday, her mom knew that i was trying some ways to contact my gf again. My gf was scolded again and again. My gf was fed up and told me that she doesn’t want to be with me anymore because her parents were right about me being stubborn. So she said she will cut ties with me already and she won’t come back. I don’t know if its out of frustration because of the heated situation. I decided to give her space. Is the NC rule effective in our situation?

        1. Well, a period of NC will be necessary to allow the tension to lower a bit. If you continue to contact her right now, just after her parents have scolded her. it is going to make the situation worse and push her further away.

          1. Hi sam. Its been two weeks already of NC with my gf.. when we broke up, she blocked me in instagram, facebook and twitter. Last week she unblocked me in twitter.. after a day, she blocked me again… then recently, she unblocked me on her 3 accounts. And tried to follow me in instagram using her account which sells beauty products. Ofcourse i didnt accept her request since its unfair for me.. she can see my main acc. But i cant see hers. So i ignored it then she cancels the request… what is she trying to do? :) thank you for the first reply sam

          2. You have to stop all these childish social media games. These are not the foundation of a healthy relationship.

            Eventually, whether you can get back together with her depends on whether you can connect with her on a deeper emotional level.

            Don’t waste hours of your time playing these petty games. Just approve her.

            Your time is better spent reading a book on how to improve your relationship. For example, you can read a book about communication in relationship. How about present moment awareness, empathy, forgiveness etc. There are good books written on all these topics.

            If you want to have a great relationship in the future, personal development is very important. You should spend your time learning all these relationship skills.

            Don’t you think that is a more constructive use of your time?

    1. 6 months? I think that is too long. By then, your ex boyfriend will probably move on. 30 to 60 days is the ideal timing for no contact. Don’t go longer than that. It is counter productive.

  2. Hi, my ex just split from me after 9 months, the last 5 months I’ve been busy with my sport and neglected her wants and needs, I didn’t respond to her calls of loneliness and basically she felt like she wasn’t my number one. Ten days after I last stayed at her house I find out she’s dating again to get over me and move forward. I’ve pleaded and beg for her to give me a 3rd chance but she does not want to get hurt again. I understand that and now have realalised my mistakes I’ve made. Considering she’s dating again do you think it’s a rebound? She is a very affectionate person and requires lots of love. What is my very best move to encourage her back one last and final time. I’m so devistated and broken

    1. There is definitely a possibility that it is a rebound.

      To get her back, take it one step at a time. Don’t beg, plead or convince. It is not going to work. Don’t try to stop her from dating. Allow her to do whatever she wants.

      Learn to let go. Letting go doesn’t mean giving up. It simply means letting go of expectation and simply enjoying your time with her in order to create positive emotions. If you can bring that attitude when you are with her, you have a much better chance of making her fall in love with you again. Only when you have created enough positive emotions with her do you start talking about getting back together. Don’t have that conversation too soon.

      1. I disagree with the first poster on the second point. This woman has been dumped by you more than twice now. She is feeling resentment, rejection and neglect towards you. If she is seeing someone new, it could be rebound (but has potential of turning into something real). FIRST, consider this… do you really want her back because you miss her, or is it just the chase? Don’t mess with her emotions if you’re feelings are not genuine… PLEASE! If you are serious and truly miss her, I say pull out the big guns. Give her some or most of the things she wanted from you so badly – you know what they were. Get her roses, jewelry, call her and text her telling her you messed up and just want a chance to talk. Cry if you feel so inclined, she may feel comforted to see that kind of emotion from you. She may play hard to get, due to being hurt. But keep at it. May be hard on your ego, but it will be worse to lose someone special.

        1. Thank you for your opinion.

          Unfortunately, roses, jewelry and other grand romantic gestures only work in the movies. It doesn’t work in real life.

          The fact is, the second time she got back together with you, nothing has changed.

          Giving her roses and jewelry will not convince her that you have changed and the situation will be different and better.

          If all you need to do to get your ex back is to give her all kinds of gifts, plead or even beg, then there won’t be so many people looking for advice on how to get their ex back.

          What you need to focus on is to gain her trust over time by being consistent and like what I mentioned earlier, focusing on creating positive emotions. Only when the timing is right, when you have created enough positive emotional experiences with her do you ask her to get back together with you.

  3. My boyfriend of two years and I broke up a little over a moth ago, I didn’t learn about NC until two weeks after the break up, I’m now doing NC for about two weeks, he hasn’t texted me, and I’m starting to think he won’t at all, he was always so loving and kind and just amazing to me, and I’m taking this time to work on myself and become the kind of girl that deserves a guy like him. But I don’t know if he’s the kind of guy that’s willing to give a girl a second chance… He told me I’m the only girl he’s ever loved, and I’m his first long term relationship, and I know that if we had a second chance it would be so amazing and so mch better than before, I just don’t know if he’s willing to try again… What’s your opnion?

    1. It has only been 2 weeks. So don’t worry so much. Maybe he will contact you in 2 weeks time. Even if he doesn’t, it doesn’t mean you can’t take the initiative to contact him.

      Sometimes, you need to be more proactive if you want your ex back. Anyway, don’t worry too much for now. Just focus on healing and working on yourself during this no contact period.

  4. I’m not able to spend as much time with her as she wants due to other commitments. She continues to tell me she loves me but I feel like she’s keeping me at arms length, not to close but not to far away.

  5. I’ll try to make a long story short. My ex bf & I dated for many years quite some time ago but broke up some time ago. We reconnected after several years and things were great. I broke it off a few months ago but ended up reaching back out & we were trying to work thru things. I told him what my issues were and that I needed him to put me as some sort of priority in his life. I ended up breaking it off again because he was putting everyone ahead of me unless he needed emotional support or something else from me. I like you was put in a position where I didn’t have a choice. I said some pretty mean thIngs & told him to find someone else to use. I care for him and always will and am really wondering if this time is for good . I realize I am the one that should make the first contact as I am the one that dumped him, but I can’t because I feel if I do he will feel it is ok with treating me that way and not think about his actions. it has been almost 2 weeks and I’ve heard nothing and I’m wondering if he will think about his actions and miss me

  6. We’ve been 9months, and fought quiet a lot, and every time I tried to have conversation with him, and we agree, but back to fight and so on and on.
    We decided to move to another country together 2 months ago, but whenever we had issue he firstly said I won’t go there together because I am not happy today, and I don’t want to take risk that I will have the same day like today in another country. But ‘stupidly’ whenever he said like that, I calmed him down, and mad conversation and we back.
    A week ago, same thing happened. We argued via messages, and he again, very simply said ‘I won’t go there together’. I thought he was using it as an weapon as hurt my feeling or I thought I might learn that if he said so he could be in control. So this time I simply replied ‘it’s fine’. Then I called him and talked about my feeling, thoughts so far, he said we should sleep, and I said ‘take care’, and he said ‘good night, sweet dreams’.
    Since then I didn’t contact him again as I used to – I made initial contact and he replied later etc-. He messaged me on lunch hour and asked if I was ok, and he’s worried about me. I didn’t replied. Next day, he again messaged me, he hates how we ended on, and he’s worried about me, but I ignored again. On the third day he messaged me and said please say something, talk to him, he’s worried about me and hate how we ended.
    Well, when he said we should sleep on the last call, I felt like if he felt like it’s our last call, he wouldn’t ended like this, he at least said good bye or something, he believed ‘I will available to talk tomorrow again’, so I won’t be there for him. This is what I thought at the moment.
    Anyways, after three days in a row messages, he didn’t do it anymore. Oh, well he even called me ‘sweetie’ in one of messages.
    My question is, in this case, NC would work? And when can I upload my current photos or status on SNS?
    You said we should make bf or gf curious about our current situation. So when is the right time to start use SNS?
    Thanks !

  7. I have a lover , who i dated for three months . It was very intense, he had so much love for me that at some point. I felt it was too much . Didnt mention that to him though. So he got a job in a different town, three hours drive from here, and so he moved away. I guess i was overwhelemed by this move that i started calling him frequently and nagging him. Then he stopped picking up calls. Im on the second week of nc and im wondering wether i should visit him some time. Im worried that he might not text back. Is it a good idea to visit him.

    1. You mentioned that the love was very intense, so much so that you were feeling overwhelmed.

      That was already a red flag. Maybe he had some unresolved emotional issues and he was trying to use this relationship as an outlet.

      Now that the honeymoon period is over, he has moved on as well. So maybe it is time for you to move on too? I don’t think it is a good idea to visit him.

  8. Long story short I was with someone 3 years younger and we dated for a few months. Everything was perfect and all of our friends loved us together. Only bad thing is that he was very immature. In just 3 days he became distant and we broke up. His reason was that I was too clingy but that he still liked me. No way I was clingy if I almost never was the first to contact because I was working. A week later we started joking around as we did when we were friends since we always ran into each other and even coming over to watch a movie at my place and we cuddled. even inviting me to the movies two weeks later where we acted like a couple . This was 3 weeks ago and since than we only smile or jokingly insult each other when we run into each other. We haven’t really talked than and not too mention his friends have been hitting on me like crazy. I contacted him 3 days ago and wrote “doing anything?” He wrote sleeping. I didn’t respond. We’ve been broken up for 5 weeks and the only thing his friends say is that they don’t know what he’s thinking except that he’s young and very immature. He’s 22. I miss him more like a friend and I want him to miss me. Idk if too delete him off snap chat and I’m going to run into him at a friends party in 4 days. Help :(

  9. My ex & I were together for 11 years, we owned a home and had our lives planned together. We had started growing apart, weren’t communicating as we should and I made the mistake of talking about it with my cousin. He overheard the conversation & ended the relationship. I think he thought I cheated because he said he “wouldn’t let me get away with it” (but wouldn’t elaborate on what that meant).
    I told him repeatedly I didn’t cheat but he refused to talk about things & said it was over. Then a few weeks later I asked if he thought we’d ever get back together & he said “you never know what the future holds”.
    The break-up took 3 months & during that time we stayed living together, slept in the same bed, etc. (no sex, just sleeping) but we got along fine, no arguments.
    It’s 5 months since the initial break-up & 2 months since he’s moved out, at first he would respond to my emails and was nice – with smiley faces and would start responses with “Hi!” but now he replies with short answers and no greetings. He doesn’t initiate contact at all.
    We didn’t have a no-contact period because we were dealing with financials and splitting assets. How should I proceed to start a new relationship with him? Should I initiate no contact now or is it too late for that? Any advice/help would be appreciated, thanks!

  10. My boyfriend of one year broke up with me about a month ago. He said he met someone and wanted to see how it goes. But he also told me that he still wants me a lot.. and hopes that I won’t be angry with him.. I wished him well… and never contacted him since.. I’d like to initiate a contact, but I don’t know when? Since he is with another person… but there’s also a chance he broke up with her by now, but I won’t know. He knows he hurt me and I know him – he will not have it in him to contact me after what what he has done. Should I wait another 30 days and text him? Is there any hope we might get back together? Thank you Sam

  11. Hi me and my boyfriend of 3 yrs broke a little over a month ago over a fight we had and I said something that I wish I could take back. He didn’t call me for 6 days and when he did call it wad to tell me that he thinks it’s best if we just be friends I preceded to do the begging acting desperate all those things people do after a break up.. He’s asked me twice if I’ve found a new guy yet and asking me about my son well a week ago he said sorry we’re too different we can’t do this anymore and that I can always call does and I haven’t contacted him since does this mean there’s no hope for us?

  12. I broke up with my ex after 9 months together, because he said his feeling doesnt grow and felt we’re more like friend, even though our relationship was fine and rarely had fighting. So I directly had no contact, but in the 3rd week, he contacted me. After that we saw each other like once a week, but I initiated most of the meetings. Then he took me out for dinner to my fav restaurant, we had sex after, even he stated that wont change things. We met again a week after, but this time he said sth that really hurted me and my pride. So I was thinking I’ve had enough with him, and cut contact, even deleted him from facebook. A week after that which is last Wednesday, he texted me, said he got sth for me. I havent replied. Should I reply or just having another no contact rule?

  13. Hi Sam,

    My gf of 18 months has logged into my computer and discovered that I was struggling with the aftermath of a previous relationship when we first met.

    As my gf and my relationship took off, my ex and I were texting angrily and at one point met and stupidly had ‘ex sex’ (which my current gf now knows about). We continued to argue for a month or so by text and met briefly once or twice to try to get closure. My gf now knows all these details as she read all the texts.

    I got over my ex after a month or two of texting and have never contacted her again.

    My gf and I grew ever closer and very soon moved in together. It was amazing and we love each other very much. But now she’s discovered what was happening with my ex when we first met and has left me.

    Apart from a couple of texts and one call on the day of our breakup we have been on ‘no contact’ for a week. Is this the right strategy for me, when should I contact her again and what do you think my chances are?

  14. Me and my ex dated for 4 years. last year we had a break up and for four long months we were fighting on that. Eventually i used no contact and contacted her and she came back. Now for the past 6 months she was behaving very cold with me and two months back she broke up with me. Her main reason was that she think we will always fight and it will better for both of us to seperate. I came to know that for the past some time she has been in contact with a guy and used to tallk to him almost every night before we break up but she always told me that he is a just a friend and she has nothing with him. After about a month of no contact i contacted her and told her my feelings but she said that she dont love me and dont want to go back on those things again and even said that she talks to that other guy but has no feeling for him. What should i do. Its been two months of our break up now. I tried to play mind games by indulging my friend who used to indirectly convince her while i was in no contact with her but it didnt work as when i called she said no. Should i restart the no contact without any games this time and what can be her feelings for that other guy.

  15. I caught my boyfriend of seven months with a girl(cheating). He has been ignoring me. He sent me messages apologizing saying he doesn’t know how to face me. Its been two weeks without seeing him. He refuses to see me face to face. I miss him sooo much and I’m willing to give a relationship another chance but he doesn’t want to see me.
    Does it mean the relationship is over?
    How do we fix things if we can not see each other?

  16. My boyfriend of two years just dumped me a few days ago. Our situation is a little unique.
    In January my family had decided to move, they offered to bring him with us, he took the offer and it was really good for a while. Part of the agreement is that he would go home (two days drive) during break. He’s been back with his family for almost two weeks and a few days ago he texted me for the first time saying that he wouldn’t be coming back next year for school. He also said he couldn’t handle a long distance relationship but that in the future once he graduates highschool in a year we could try again.
    I have now come to terms with this and agreed to trying that. Now he’s saying that he doesn’t want to try again because “it would be pointless and he doesn’t see a future for us”
    We had a very strong relationship and it was decibels special and meaningful. We loved each other very deeply and I know we both still have feelings for each other.
    I found out last night that he was starting to consider breaking up about a month ago, but he didn’t communicate that to me.
    I’m about to start the “no contact period” but I’m afraid it will only push him away further since he claims to not want a future with me.
    We’d been talking two months ago about after graduation getting a place together somewhere and going to college. I don’t see how something so drastic could happen to change his mind.
    I can’t go to see him, so right now it would be long distance, but is this likely to work? I’m really not sure, this was the first time in love, and serious relationship for both of us and I really feel like he’s the one for me.

  17. My ex and I of three years had an amazing relationship, but then a lot of drama and arguments happened. And we had a really bad long drawn out breakup. To the point where I was kinda harassing him to make him feel the same anger he made me feel. A lot of hurtful things were said and we are both blocked. At least I know I blocked him on everything and I’m pretty sure he has done the same. We talked and argued for weeks after the breakup and then when I felt like he wasn’t listening, I did the worst and would blow his phone up. We’re at day 5 of no contact. Is my situation hopeless? Or do you think I just need consistent NC?

  18. Hey, I’m a guy in a similar situation. Went out with a girl for 4 months, fell hard.. She’d get close then pull away, had trouble with talking about feelings etc ie kind of avoidant.. She told me that no other guy ever made her feel sexy like I did.. Anyway two and a half months ago she broke it off.. I was a little impatient, she felt caged, two texts in a day meant that I was hearing her and she got pissed and walked.. I sent a couple of texts, 2 a week and a half apart which she ignored until she asked me to leave her alone.. She called herself a flight risk and I maybe made a bad decision In seeing her.. I miss her. She lives close by but from a different country.. Thoughts? Thanks

  19. Also, the cheating was not an isolated incidence, it went on for months- while he also tried to keep me is his life?!

  20. Hi, I recently broke up with my now ex girlfriend because I thought it was bad timing. Prior to her, I didn’t take any girl seriously because I would get bored but something I saw in her interested me and I want her back. Its been a week since I talked to her. I drunk called her and she told me that she wanted nothing to do with me. She never opened up before she was with her daughters bf. Which was about 2 years ago too and she was willing to open up to me but I feel like I messed it up by breaking up with her and giving up. I want her back. I really saw a future with her and she’s the first girl I truly fall in love with. What do I do?

  21. I need advice, me and my ex girlfriend dated for a year and a half, lived together and we’re pretty much inseparable . I ended up getting a new job and was working 60hr weeks and pretty much had no time and got really unhappy . Long story short it was the demise of our relationship. when we broke up it was out of the blue and I let my emotions totally get the best of me. I felt alone and trapped in this new life I created and my best friend and the only good part of my day was gone. I did the standard over texting and calling,,mad/sad thing, if only I had heard of the no contact then. She ended up blocking me on her phone and Facebook. Well that was what I needed. I got a new job and I’m back in school working on a career I’ll love. I took relationship classes so if given another chance I wouldn’t blow it. Well a few days ago I wrote her a email to get her her stuff back, a few items she left here. I got no response.i was really hoping maybe that could lead us into talking again and I really want to show her all the amazing things I’m doing. I heard she’s dating a new guy now so maybe that’s why she didn’t respond. I’m just really confused now what to do. I KNOW she’s the one for me. What can I do to get her to want to talk to me again or make her see the changes and at least not have her block me out completely. I’ve respected her space but I feel like the more time that goes by the farther she drifts away

  22. My boyfriend broke up with me but on the same night he texted me goodnyt and that he still misses me.. i still do love him but i havent replied to his texts,should i and what should i say?

  23. Now its almost 30 days nw aftr our brkup…he txtd me 2 to 3 times , I saw bt didnt rplyd him…and now he blocked me I rly wnt him to realise his mistk since he ws cheating on me so I broke up wd him…bt I luved him so vry truely and wnt him to miss me nw atlst !

    1. I am sorry to hear that.

      If he cheated on you but doesn’t realized his mistakes, then it may be time for you to move on. I know it can be tough but you really deserve a man who will treasure you.

      1. No, he did not cheat on me. Things just went wrong between us. We were so deep in love but, there was a lot of fighting happening toward the end. He just told me that he didn’t feel for me anymore and that it was final i.e. he’d never feel for me again (at least, according to what he said back during the last week of December).

  24. Together 8 years, broke up for 1.5 years stayed friends which led to reconciliation. Broke up again as he felt I wasn’t giving him the attention he deserved and I didn’t feel that he was putting me first.

    2 weeks later I bumped into him told him I wanted to try again, for him to move back in and give it a good proper go. He said we have our chance and we both messed up and he doesn’t want to. He met someone 5 days after we broke up she asked him for coffee he said no but got her number afterwards from a friend and they’ve been texting every day since. We’ve mutual friends.

    I’ve gone nc since (2 whole days) its his birthday tomorrow I want to text so he knows I care but I shouldn’t. Do we stand a chance of reconciliation?

      1. Until a relationship is really over, it is not over yet unless you decided to give up.

        So I would say the chance of reconciliation is still there.

        The main question you may want to ask yourself is why do you think the relationship didn’t work the second time?

        Was it because after getting back together, both of you fell back into the same pattern that caused the first breakup? Was it because of poor communication or other reasons.

        This is something you need to figure out, so that if you do get back together, the same mistakes won’t be repeated.

        With that said, you do have to be prepared. Getting back together the second time is definitely going to be harder than the first time. As he mentioned, he doesn’t want to get back together because he already tried and it didn’t work out.

        The only reason for him to want to get back together with you is if he can see very clearly for himself that the relationship is going to be different and better. In other words, you will probably have to put in a significant amount of effort to improve yourself and develop new skills that will help you in your relationship.

        As for him dating another girl, that is probably a rebound. So don’t worry too much about that for now. It is not like worrying will help you anyway. Just focus on what you can control, which is working on yourself.

        For example, if you know one of the reasons for breaking up is poor communication, then you have to take the initiative to brush up your communication skills.

  25. Hi guys,

    This is my story. I and this girl were friends. She broke up and we got into relationship. We were happy together and for a year and then I got admission at a different college and moved to a different city. Things started to be a bit difficult.

    She got close to a colleague and they made out(no sex) but were together for 3 days. Then all of sudden she pinned everything on me and wanted to go away. I was all devastated tried to stop . Later she apologized and asked for a second chance.

    But 5 months later I found out she was still in touch with the guy and they all went for office trip together. I was headstrong and told her I wanna break up. She came down and said sorry and all and asked for forgiveness. I am sure I did not want to give her another chance.

    But don’t know what happened I said okay. Three months later she has become abusive calling me names, fighting, telling me all this is because of you. Look at you, you ooze negative energy. I don’t wanna hear your voice and all. Leave me alone. You are so needy, weak and without self esteem.

    I feel like I have made a fool out of myself. I know I don’t wanna be with her. But I want her to feel the pain and misery that I felt. I want her to regret.

    Don’t know what I should do.

    May be I am a fool for trusting her again.

    1. Take some time to calm down. Just let it go. I know you feel like taking revenge but what’s the point?

      Making someone feel pain and misery is not going to make you happy. Why waste your precious time and energy on someone who doesn’t appreciate you?

      If you still want her back, then taking revenge is certainly not the best approach.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *