4 Reasons Your Ex Boyfriend or Girlfriend Is Ignoring You
Establishing first contact post-breakup can be heartbreaking. After taking some time apart from your ex, there’s really no telling what you’ll be coming back to without confronting the drama head-on.
I’m sure you have already thought of all the worst-case scenarios in your head, but that doesn’t make it any easier on you. This is why, instead of giving into your assumptions, it would be best to approach this with a level head. Silence may be an answer, but that doesn’t mean that it’s the only answer in this situation.
If you are trying to get back with an ex but they’re not responding the way you want or simply not responding at all, then here are just a few reasons why.
Reason 1: Your Ex Still Has Feelings For You
Let’s start off with the positive. Maybe the reason your ex is ignoring you is that he or she still loves you. I know it seems a bit far-fetched, especially if you broke off in bad terms, but at this point, you’ll never know.
For someone whose heart has been broken badly, taking time for themselves is important in order to be able to process the pain. If your ex still loves you, it can be extremely difficult to talk to you again because they can’t fully grasp of their emotions yet. Everyone needs time to heal on their own so try not to make this about yourself. Your ex needs to figure this out on his or her own.
The best way to respond to this silence is to do absolutely nothing. Like I said earlier, everyone needs time to get over pain. Everyone has their own way of processing painful events. You should respect that and let them come to you when they’re ready. If your ex still loves you, they’ll find an opportunity to reconnect again once they’re ready.
Reason 2: Your Ex Is Playing Games
Another possible reason that the ex is choosing to keep silent is that he or she is playing mind games with you or using the nc rule on you. Now, this is only true if your relationship was filled with manipulation from the beginning or if your ex has the tendency toward mind games.
Unfortunately, there are a lot of dating guides out there that advocate this kind of behavior. Some even go as far as using the adage “Absence makes the heart grow fonder” just to prove a point.
On the surface, it may seem to work, but playing mind games will only strain any hope for reconciliation. By playing the silent card deliberately, your ex is showing off his or her true colors. It only reflects his or her need to manipulate in order to feel some sense of control.
So how do you respond to these games? Again, by doing nothing. When you choose not to respond, you’re giving out a clear message that you’re not in any mood to play games with your emotions. You’re choosing to put yourself first and you clearly won’t stand being manipulated. Your ex will contact you any way once he or she gets tired of the games.
Reason 3: Your Ex Needs More Time
Breakups can easily lead to a painful cycle where the one dumped will run after the one who dumped in an effort to shake off the pain. If you were the unfortunate one who was dumped and you find yourself reaching out to your ex any opportunity you get, you might not be giving your ex time to process the breakup.
Try to assess if you’ve been suffocating your ex. Are you constantly messaging them to still feel that sense of belonging to someone? Are you always where they are in the hopes that you will finally get to talk about your relationship?
You may feel entitled to an answer, but if your ex is not ready to do any talking, you’ll only feel like you’ve hit a brick wall. I know that the feeling of being ignored hurts, but try to look at it from your ex’s perspective.
Do you really want to be seen as that clingy, desperate person? I don’t think so. Remember, if you feel like you’ve gone too far trying to reconnect, then you probably have. So what do you do in this situation?
The first thing is to ease up on the communication. I know it’s hard, but you need to learn to let go of your first instinct. You can keep the communication lines open still — just don’t be the one initiating contact all the time. After a while, when your ex is ready, he or she will contact you to talk.
Reason 4: Your Ex Has Moved On
For some people, breaking up means final. They will never even consider getting back together with an ex. If your ex happens to be this type of person, then there is really nothing much you can do about it.
Or maybe the breakup was just too nasty. Therefore, they have made the decision to close this chapter of their life. And if you are really unlucky, you may have encountered an ex who simply disappeared on you.
If your ex has literally moved on, don’t expect to hear any word from him or her. Of course, you may want to try contacting them a few times before giving up.
Although this form of silence may be the most painful of them all, it’s the best sign that you should move on as well. Now that you know that there’s nothing to hold on to anymore, you can move on to writing on a brand-new slate. Don’t feel disheartened or unloved. Think of this as a new opportunity to get out there and meet someone new. Hold on to the promise and excitement of new loves.
The best thing you can do is to respect your ex’s decision to move on. Stop playing on the what-ifs and make that conscious decision to be happy for him or her. Make the effort to let go of on any grudges because if you do, you’ll only end up suffering.
The Bottom Line
You can’t force anyone to stop ignoring you. You just can’t control people that way. The only thing that you can control is your response to different situations. So whatever situation you find yourself in, make sure that you put the focus on yourself. Trust me, it will free you from constantly thinking of others.